I Won't Say I'm In Love
by Vampire Sweetheart 29
Summary: Captain Swan One-Shot based on the song "I Won't Say I'm In Love" from the Disney movie "Hercules." Emma's POV.


_[Meg:]_

 _If there's a prize for rotten judgement_

 _I guess I've already won that_

 _No man is worth the aggravation_

 _That's ancient history, been there, done that!_

Neal Cassidy had taken a lost girl and destroyed her. She thought he would be her happy ending. But he had let her take the fall for his crime, landing her in jail for almost a year. Worse still, he had left her with a reminder, in the form of a son. The man she thought she loved had left her pregnant in prison. After that, she vowed she would never fall in love again.

Enter Killian Jones, a.k.a. Captain Hook. The pirate annoyed her to no end. She didn't trust him one bit. He was cocky and overly flirtatious. And he could see right through her. The climb up the beanstalk was full of deep conversation as he put aside his teasing ways to probe her about her past in love. He was handsome, she'd give him that. His bright blue eyes contrasted perfectly to his dark hair. He was well built, and was talented with a hook for a hand. Nope. She wasn't falling for him. He was annoying and totally not her type. Even if he did seem to understand her the way no one else did, and after such a short time.

 _[Muses:]_

 _Who'd' ya think you're kiddin'_

 _He's the Earth and heaven to you_

 _Try to keep it hidden_

 _Honey, we can see right through you_

 _Girl, ya can't conceal it_

 _We know how ya feel and_

 _Who you're thinking of_

Killian seemed to fill her every thought. No matter how much he annoyed her, they kept coming back to each other. He filled her dreams on the year away from Storybrooke. She had no idea who he was, but her mind was always searching for something. Probably the other half of her heart. When she drank the potion and woke up, she was surprised to see that it was he who had come to bring her and Henry back to Storybrooke. When they went back in the past, she saw how amazing he really was. He looked every bit the part of a prince at King Midas' ball. He even knew how to dance! She got swept up in the waltz and forgot about why they were there. He held her as she cried over her mother's supposed death and comforted her when she was upset about her parents not knowing her. He supported her even when she pushed him away.

 _[Meg:]_

 _No chance, no way_

 _I won't say it, no, no_

 _[Muses:]_

 _You swoon, you sigh_

 _why deny it, uh-oh_

 _[Meg:]_

 _It's too cliché_

 _I won't say I'm in love_

Nope. She wouldn't open herself up to him. She allowed herself to flirt with his past self. But it meant nothing. The kisses meant nothing. He was a pirate. He was after one thing, and he would leave when he got it. She refused to allow herself to fall for a man like him. Or any man, really. Look where it had gotten her before.

 _[Meg:]_

 _I thought my heart had learned its lesson_

 _It feels so good when you start out_

 _My head is screaming get a grip, girl_

 _Unless you're dying to cry your heart out_

 _Oh_

When she had met Neal, he taught her so much. She finally felt like she had a purpose in life. A home. But then he abandoned her. She wouldn't let herself feel this again. She felt something for him after their journey back in time, but she wouldn't give into it. After some thought, she decided that this couldn't go on. She had lost everyone she had ever loved. They had broken her one way or another. The only love in her life was for her son, Henry. And maybe for her parents and brother, Neal. Even her brother was a constant reminder of what had been lost. She refused to give into her heart and make the same mistake again. She would stand resolute and continue on without him. She was a strong, independent woman after all.

 _[Muses:]_

 _You keep on denying_

 _Who you are and how you're feeling_

 _Baby, we're not buying_

 _Hon, we saw ya hit the ceiling_

 _Face it like a grown-up_

 _When ya gonna own up_

 _That ya got, got, got it bad_

"There is no me and Hook."

"You're going to pretend that everyone doesn't see the yearning looks and doey eyes?"

"I don't yearn."

"Now I'm stuck with you and Captain Guyliner making eyes at each other."

"I don't make eyes."

Everyone else could see it. Why couldn't she just admit it and give in? Her mother knew, her father knew, even Regina knew! No matter how much she denied it, it was obvious. She was longing for him. A part of her mind thought, maybe this would be different. Maybe he wouldn't leave her. It seemed like everyone else was just waiting for her to accept it and for them to become official. Man did she have it bad for him.

 _[Meg:]_

 _Whoa: No chance, no way_

 _I won't say it, no, no_

 _[Muses:]_

 _Give up, give in_

 _Check the grin you're in love_

 _[Meg:]_

 _This scene won't play,_

 _I won't say I'm in love_

 _[Muses:]_

 _You're doin' flips read our lips_

 _You're in love_

Okay so she agreed to go out with him. But it was one date! It didn't mean she loved him. She didn't. It just gave her an excuse to get out for dinner. There was still a crisis in town in the form of an ice witch. He cared so much for her. He looked distraught when she almost froze to death. Clearly he was in love with her. But maybe it was all for show. How well did she really know this centuries-old pirate? She felt like her mind was at war with her heart. Not every guy was Neal. But then again, Graham had died just as she was falling for him, and Walsh turned into an evil flying monkey shortly after proposing. There was no way she had found the one decent guy. He wasn't just decent. He was a gentleman. He was gorgeous, and kind, and he knew her like no one else did. He had his own share of heartache. He knew how she felt.

 _[Meg:]_

 _You're way off base_

 _I won't say it_

 _[Muses:]_

 _She won't say it, no!_

 _[Meg:]_

 _Get off my case_

 _I won't say it_

 _[Muses:]_

 _Girl, don't be proud_

 _It's O.K. you're in love_

He was the one to comfort her during her fight with her parents. He tolerated her friendship with August. He admitted that she was his happy ending. But she was still too guarded to let him in. Just because he believed her to be his happy ending didn't mean they would just ride off into the sunset. There was a crisis to be dealt with, and another would surely follow close behind. She didn't have time for deep romance. He had just told her how much she meant to him, without using those three precious words. But she had been left by the people who had loved her in the past. Her parents loved her, but they sent her away. Neal loved her, but he left her pregnant and alone. She couldn't allow herself to actually love this man.

 _[Meg:]_

 _Oh-ohhhhh_

 _At least out loud,_

 _I won't say I'm in love_

Okay the time for fighting tooth and nail was over. The alternate reality the author created showed her as much. He helped Henry to rescue her from her tower, even when he didn't know who she was. That had to mean something. And then, her dad had run him through right in front of her. She knew it wasn't real, but she could feel her heart shatter into a million pieces. She wanted to give up right there, but Henry tugging on her hand reminded her that she had to end this horror and return to the real world.

When she got back to the loft and couldn't find him, she felt her already fragile heart break just a little more. When he called down from her bedroom, she never felt more alive. He was okay! Killian Jones was right. He was and always would be a survivor. She knew it then. She was in love with this man. Yet something still held her back. She could see in his eyes he knew what she wanted to say, and he was anxiously awaiting it. But he wouldn't push her. Instead, she thanked him for sacrificing himself for her and Henry. They only won because of him. He nodded, but she could see he was hoping for something else.

Maybe one day she could finally admit her love for him. For now, it would plague her thoughts, but never leave her lips.


End file.
